So last year, I made a number of resolutions that turned out to be absolutely crucial to my sanity. Little did I know all the craziness in store for me, shortly after I made them. We had some foreshadowing of it, with intense anxiety in Herbie and suicidal thoughts. I felt like I needed to take better care of myself in order to take care of him. So I checked something off my to-do list that had been there for years--find a primary care doctor and address my own anxieties. When the root cause of my son's behaviors and anxieties was discovered, I plummeted, but had the tools to pull out of it faster and in a more healthy way than I had been able to process any previous distress in the past. Which was somewhat miraculous considering the magnitude of what we went through.
I have spent a lot of time sitting and playing with my kids. Carving out one-on-one time with each of them when I can has been immensely rewarding. I gave up on getting them to consistently sleep in their own beds. I don't mind that they always want me to snuggle with them to help them fall asleep, that is when we have some of the best heart-to-heart conversations.
I have utilized the services of our babysitter for monthly dates. I joined the church choir (although I am a delinquent when it comes to attending rehearsals regularly, they kindly allow me to participate anyway). I have coffee with friends and nights out with other mom friends reasonably often.
The resolution from last year (and every year...) that I have completely neglected is maybe I'll make some progress on that one in 2014, seeing as how far I've come with the others!
We still have plenty of daily struggles and big issues to deal with, but I have to say that I don't feel completely paralyzed by them anymore. There are days when I am overwhelmed and exhausted, but I no longer spend the majority of my time in such days, more often than not I feel like I am in a good place, ready to tackle the challenges of the day. Seeing how much stronger we are after what we've been through helps me to continue on into the unknown. One step at a time, knowing that God walks with us, and that He will get us through whatever craziness is in store, just like He got us through the last year.